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A/N: Yet again, LJ cut desperately hates me. This stems from what is now in my life. Enjoy my misery, served cold on a digital platter. :]
is it possible to mourn what never was? yes.
[I think, I like her again. A little.]
[I don't know. I'm going back and forth, do I like her, don't I... I like her... just a bit.]
Theirrelatioshipfriendship consists of one or two actual face to face meetings, wherein hanging out came in the form of movies she's seen before; she's there to interpret Angels and Demons for her best friend and him, he who is between her and her best friend (in so many ways that it just isn't funny anymore).
Her best friend later confides that his hand almost intertwined with hers during the movie; she thinks, that's why her best friend asked questions out of the blue, about scenes that were really easy to understand. Slowly, it begins.
She texts with him, back and forth like on a see-saw. He calls her smart, intelligent, makes her feel worth a lot of things that she hasn't exactly felt before. Never, in fact.
He's the first guy to make me feel this way
Happy, with a palpitating heart
Smiling, hands clutching a glowing cellphone
Wishing, that maybe, just maybe--
[Wow, that's awfully mature of you.]
[Haha. Well, she's really worth the wait.]
[Yeah. If she'll give me the chance, I'll go for it. Do you think I'd still have a chance?]
He then texts her a week later, out of the blue.
[i don't like her anymore]
[are you sure?]
[yup.]
[of course.]
I can almost feel...
I could have felt...
Yet I can't bring myself say,
that I SHOULD have felt.
Would he have felt the same way?
Or would I just be the eternal bridge?
Replacement for a person he think he might not have a chance with.
Just a friend.
[Just go with the flow.]
[So, it's definite, right? You like her.]
[Just a bit. Yeah...]
[Do you think I have a chance?]
is it possible to mourn what never was? yes.
[I think, I like her again. A little.]
[Hmm, again? I thought you said you didn't like her anymore.]
[I don't know. I'm going back and forth, do I like her, don't I... I like her... just a bit.]
[Ah... That's good!]
Conversations I'd rather not have,
you're breaking my heart.
you're breaking my heart.
Their
Her best friend later confides that his hand almost intertwined with hers during the movie; she thinks, that's why her best friend asked questions out of the blue, about scenes that were really easy to understand. Slowly, it begins.
She texts with him, back and forth like on a see-saw. He calls her smart, intelligent, makes her feel worth a lot of things that she hasn't exactly felt before. Never, in fact.
He's the first guy to make me feel this way
Happy, with a palpitating heart
Smiling, hands clutching a glowing cellphone
Wishing, that maybe, just maybe--
The first time he admits he likes her best friend, she feels almost nothing. Just a slight twinge of her heart. Of something she feels that maybe, she should regret? She pushes past it and eagerly takes on the role of Ms. Matchmaker; after all, she lives to see the people she cares about happy, yes?
[I'm willing to wait for her.]
[I'm willing to wait for her.]
[Wow, that's awfully mature of you.]
[Haha. Well, she's really worth the wait.]
[You're really going to wait for her?]
[Yeah. If she'll give me the chance, I'll go for it. Do you think I'd still have a chance?]
[...Yeah, definitely. You're a great guy, who wouldn't want you?]
He then texts her a week later, out of the blue.
[i don't like her anymore]
[are you sure?]
[yup.]
[but, you still want to be friends?]
[of course.]
As wrong as it is,
for a moment there,
a chance hung in the air.
It floated in front of me, taunting me to take it.
To keep it as my own.
I couldn't decide.
I left it, to hang in the air around me,
minutes, hours, days.
It disappeared.
for a moment there,
a chance hung in the air.
It floated in front of me, taunting me to take it.
To keep it as my own.
I couldn't decide.
I left it, to hang in the air around me,
minutes, hours, days.
It disappeared.
He likes her again. She felt her heart do more than a twinge this time. She felt it crack. She felt it break. She felt it ache with a sharp sting of what could have been, for what she didn't even have. How can you mourn something that was never yours? Could have been, maybe. ALMOST.
Hearing that song, Almost, makes her want to cry and bawl her lungs out until there's nothing left of this burning fire that consumes her heart. She feel idiotic, inane; why is she feeling so hard for something that was never hers?
Hearing that song, Almost, makes her want to cry and bawl her lungs out until there's nothing left of this burning fire that consumes her heart. She feel idiotic, inane; why is she feeling so hard for something that was never hers?
I can almost feel...
I could have felt...
Yet I can't bring myself say,
that I SHOULD have felt.
Would he have felt the same way?
Or would I just be the eternal bridge?
Replacement for a person he think he might not have a chance with.
Just a friend.
[What will you do now?]
[Just go with the flow.]
[So, it's definite, right? You like her.]
[Just a bit. Yeah...]
[Do you think I have a chance?]
[Definitely. You're perfect.]
Perfect. Just not for me.
Where I Am: where the lonely hearts roam.
What I'm Feeling: 
drained
drainedWhat I'm Listening to: battlefield by Jordin Sparks
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determined
disappointed
whatever.
Not giving up the search