Worth a Smile.

i'm your unburnable bridge

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:28:03 GMT

A/N: Yet again, LJ cut desperately hates me. This stems from what is now in my life. Enjoy my misery, served cold on a digital platter. :]

is it possible to mourn what never was? yes.

[I think, I like her again. A little.]

[Hmm, again? I thought you said you didn't like her anymore.]

[I don't know. I'm going back and forth, do I like her, don't I... I like her... just a bit.]

[Ah... That's good!]

Conversations I'd rather not have,
you're breaking my heart.

Their ~~relatioship~~friendship consists of one or two actual face to face meetings, wherein hanging out came in the form of movies she's seen before; she's there to interpret Angels and Demons for her best friend and him, he who is between her and her best friend (in so many ways that it just isn't funny anymore).

Her best friend later confides that his hand almost intertwined with hers during the movie; she thinks, that's why her best friend asked questions out of the blue, about scenes that were really easy to understand. Slowly, it begins.

She texts with him, back and forth like on a see-saw. He calls her smart, intelligent, makes her feel worth a lot of things that she hasn't exactly felt before. Never, in fact.

He's the first guy to make me feel this way
Happy, with a palpitating heart
Smiling, hands clutching a glowing cellphone
Wishing, that maybe, just maybe--

The first time he admits he likes her best friend, she feels almost nothing. Just a slight twinge of her heart. Of something she feels that maybe, she should regret? She pushes past it and eagerly takes on the role of Ms. Matchmaker; after all, she lives to see the people she cares about happy, yes?

[I'm willing to wait for her.]

[Wow, that's awfully mature of you.]

[Haha. Well, she's really worth the wait.]

[You're really going to wait for her?]

[Yeah. If she'll give me the chance, I'll go for it. Do you think I'd still have a chance?]

[...Yeah, definitely. You're a great guy, who wouldn't want you?]

He then texts her a week later, out of the blue.

[i don't like her anymore]

[are you sure?]

[yup.]

[but, you still want to be friends?]

[of course.]

As wrong as it is,
for a moment there,
a chance hung in the air.
It floated in front of me, taunting me to take it.
To keep it as my own.
I couldn't decide.
I left it, to hang in the air around me,
minutes, hours, days.

It disappeared.

He likes her again. She felt her heart do more than a twinge this time. She felt it crack. She felt it break. She felt it ache with a sharp sting of what could have been, for what she didn't even have. How can you mourn something that was never yours? Could have been, maybe. ALMOST.

Hearing that song, Almost, makes her want to cry and bawl her lungs out until there's nothing left of this burning fire that consumes her heart. She feel idiotic, inane; why is she feeling so hard for something that was never hers?

I can almost feel...
I could have felt...

Yet I can't bring myself say,
that I SHOULD have felt.

Would he have felt the same way?
Or would I just be the eternal bridge?
Replacement for a person he think he might not have a chance with.

Just a friend.

[What will you do now?]

[Just go with the flow.]

[So, it's definite, right? You like her.]

[Just a bit. Yeah...]
[Do you think I have a chance?]

[Definitely. You're perfect.]

Perfect. Just not for me.

Loneliness.

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 11:36:48 GMT

1. being without company [LONE]
2. cut off from others [SOLITARY]

And that's just how I feel right about now. But this time this loneliness, this being alone of mine, it's self-inflicted. I just decided that I needed to be alone. It's not about what I want anymore. It's about what I need. I needed to be alone for a while. No companionship with any of my friends, keeping it to the minimum.

Many would wonder why I chose to be alone, when being alone is one of the most horrible experiences a person, especially me since I am a person who craves company, can feel. The mere thought makes my heart palpitate. My eyes water and again, I try to bit my lip to keep in the tears. Loneliness hits hard for me, since I've always been rather 'alone'. My childhood friends seem to be non-existent. My immediate family wasn't even in my age group for me to have companionship; both my brother and sister are way, way older than me. More than a decade apart, definitely.

My cousins, although they are in my age group, live in Manila. Now, how's that for some bonding?

I never really had friends in elementary, even in kindergarten and pre-K. My parents describe me as a very good girl, who'd rather watch TV or read a book instead of playing outside. Perhaps that explains my current obesity and ultra fair skin that resembles paper at worst? My bloodline is of Filipino and Spanish descent, yet I can't tan to save my life (I just turn red and BURN.)

Ah, now I'm rambling.

Back to the topic. Why I chose to be alone.

My life seems to be coming to a stand-still in this moment. Everything seems too rushed, too smeared and blurred for me to understand. I've finally come to the conclusion that I am a horrible person. I'm a bully. I'm a BITCH, excuse me for swearing.

I lack the tact. I lack sensitivity. I lack the ability to JUST SHUT UP.

These, and many things more I need to change. Because I've hurt too many people and caused too much grief for myself and others, when life could be so much more simple, if only I hadn't said that, if only I hadn't done that.

That is why, I must be alone, even for a moment. Being alone allows you to think, because you have no one else to keep your attention busy.

I need to think. I need to reevaluate who I am, and the person I want to be. I need to CHANGE.

As 2PM's mini-album title, it's TIME FOR CHANGE.

Fin.

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:40:39 GMT

~~~

she tries so, so hard to see
the darkness so still
the night so quiet
the breath of the moon

with the tears of the stars.

they glisten against
the backdrop of night,
with her faded wishes

and jaded dreams.

they died long ago,
taking her hopefully
vivid desires along for the ride

come back, won't you? no.

she whispers with a heaving mist,

"I wish--" red, crimson, burgundy.

she always wished for more than she could live for.

~~~

Hmm. I don't know how I feel about posting this up. I mean, I feel very disappointed in myself for writings something so... bland. Forget about it. The internet provides a cloak of anonymity and maybe my shame won't be so clear? [UGH, LJ CUT HATES ME SOMETIMES, I SWEAR.]

My hearts screams what my mouth won't say.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:44:16 GMT

The days are hotter and the nights are colder.

I no longer sleep as well as I should have, since it seems the past night have been composed of dreams, nightmares and misinterpretations that I cannot recall. Just that feeling of bewilderment as I wake up in the midst of darkness, a deep soaked fear that runs chilling through my veins, battling my blood for space.

My eyes are bruised; tender half-moons stay stamped beneath my eyes, only being enhanced by the deathly pallor. I am usually fair skinned white, ultrafair at most, yet these days it seems all blood in my body has gone clear. Or has drained away.

Recently, I have began to dread starting the day. The feelings I encounter push me to just go back to bed, pull the blankets over my head and reach some level of unconsciousness; even if I don't remember what I dream. That, among other things is what I'm ~~afraid~~thankful of.

I cannot seem to find a point, or reason as to why I'm even writing these down; am I simply waxing poetic, or just trying to add a sense of mystery and sophistication into the otherwise surreal reality that is my life?

Must there be a point, a reason?

I firmly stand by the belief that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences. Everything we do has reason, has meaning. It always means something.

Like a kiss? A nonkiss, in a way since your lips didn't touch. Yet you felt it. A kiss, a nonkiss...

...always means something.

the one night stand that won't leave.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:59:52 GMT

Wrote this in a creative impulse. Took me about ten minutes, give or take the moments where I stopped and paused to figure out where the hell I was going with this.

Enjoy~ (LJ cut just hates me right now, it just won't work. HELP?)

I love you.

don't bother flying without those wings;
dear, you'll break a lot more
than my heart.

you'd fall and crash,
just as I did,
when our breaths and hearts first came into sync.

i remember;
cigarette ashes stained fingers,
slowly, surely rubbing the inside of my wrist.

nicotine tasting lips,
a euphoria caused more
than the shared carcinogens.

eyes bruised just below, ever so
never leaving mine
never breaking contact, closer and closer.

husky, low voices
rustles of paper, they fly like angels
land on the floor, dainty and quiet.

i wondered--
silence me once more,
brush them out, they fall to the floor.

up, up, up,
away from now to nevermore;
your breathing in tune with mine,
the papers from your desk stare at me,
guilting me, imposing and white.

dawn breaks and you fly.

my heart's still with you,
tucked in your back pocket;
like an after thought.

pause, rewind, play.

it's night;
the city is blind.
we're back to square one.

I love you too. lies.

Muse: Donghae and Yuri

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:25:14 GMT

Made another one for one of my besties, Nicholette. I think I'm improving my skills at photoshop, hopefully? X ]
She loves Donghae and is a big fan of Yuri, so this is what came out of it. I plan to make a bookmark and a header/banner of the two, hopefully they'll come out looking good.

So enjoy, and tell me what ya'll think~ <3♥ Peace.

What should they be called, HaeRi? YuHae? XD

Poster/Graphic Art

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 07:02:52 GMT

Did this after watching old vids of Heechul's visit to Chunji. Love Sunny so this is what came out of it, other than me messing around on Paint.NET. Sorry, not the best person at photoshop, but I tried.

Enjoy~ <3

SunHee, is that what you would call it? <3 Click for a bigger view. Thanks <3♥

Little Rag Doll

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:54:06 GMT

NO CLASSES TOMORROW~ WOOT WOOT!!! X ]
I love Independent Learning Day. 3-day weekend, anyone? ; ]

I've decided to post the essay I've written for English Lit. class today,
where we used an inspirational quote from the novel, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Somehow, during the writing process it got a little bit more personal than expected,
but what the hell, tell me what you think when you read it?

Oh yes, and Mme. Pepito really is my target audience, if you're asking DENISE.
Thankies Ranga, for editing and the wonderful comments.
I so love you despite the whole freaking over the whole plagarism thing. ; p

So I hope that you LJers out there can read and hopefully enjoy my essay. You guys make my days with comments, so yeah... ♥<3

Little Rag Doll.

    There is something vaguely beautiful about the art of pretending. You become a magician, a conjurer, as you create a facade out of what seems to be pieces of who you once were. A theory could be that this is a defense mechanism; a way to blatantly ignore what is before you, drowning yourself in denial which seems to swallow you whole. We humans are the masters of deception; our abilities to completely immerse ourselves into denial has no compare. Ignorance is bliss, after all. We delude ourselves into thinking what we want to think, see what we want to see, until the truth has been blurred, taken apart and sewn back together. You're left with a cheap imitation in a place where you will look at yourself and not recognize what you see. Welcome to our society, where the only person holding you back is yourself.

    I remember growing up surrounded by friends who weren't real, boys who were too immature, girls too egotistical and plastic like freshly made Tupperware. There were times that I occasionally looked back wherein I saw myself as this little girl, trying so hard to grow up while simultaneously craving the security of being just a kid. She was isolated and always seemed to be alone, despite being surrounded by a sea of people. She was cracked, missing pieces of affection that her parent's simply couldn't fix. Their love held her together, but she lacked that certain piece that would have made her whole. Her best friend, for a while, had started to cover up that missing piece. But just as the glue began to dry, she broke when her best friend left. By then, that little girl had already known better. She found her own form of thread and paste in friends with plastic smiles and Tupperware hearts. The stitches were unaligned, the paste seeping out of the edges, but she managed to be whole. Sometime later, that little girl became a young woman. She left grade school and entered the teenage world of high school. She had some friends with her, but they left as well and she was alone again. Soon she was left with crooked stitches and messy, dried glue on the pieces of who she is... or was.

    I was... no, I am that girl. But somehow, I found my perfect sealant to cover up the thread and smoothen out the mess of paste. I found that sealant in friends who pushed me to be just me, the real me. They made sure I was whole before they gradually exposed the real me to new, different things that I had previously denied myself. I am where I want to be. I may not be perfect, the stitches may not be straight and the glue will still be a little messy, but I have the perfect sealant: friends who have warm eyes and beautiful hearts without a hint of plastic.

"You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way."

-Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Reluctant as it is, Thanks.

Sat, 17 May 2008 03:11:36 GMT

There is something to be said about wanting to see the good in people.

Cholette has taught me a very important lesson, as reluctant as I was to learn and accept it.

Yesterday, we were chatting, talking about Super Junior and SNSD as usual. I asked her if she had watched one of their older shows, Super Junior Super Adonis Camp. She did and because of it, she is on a 'break' from Super Junior...

Well, from liking LeeTeuk at least. She's deleted all her pictures of him and changed her picture in YM. Oh but she hates KangIn. That hasn't changed.

After hearing her out, both through chat and through the phone, I've come to understand that even idols like Super Junior, have their bad sides and faults.

Although what I heard about them in the Super Adonis Camp is more of borderline cruel and just not right. Cholette told me that LeeTeuk said something like, "I'm so annoyed by her to the point I want to stand up and hit her."

Okay, I can see that the girl was annoying and a bit strange. But she's still a girl. I mean, to want to stand up and hit her? Seriously, she's a GIRL. That just screams something about his true self, how he really is. And that was just one of the things Cholette told me about LeeTeuk that really turned her off.

Don't get Cholette started on KangIn. She can and will rant about him for as long as she can. The basic thing is that he's too much of a jokester, who doesn't take into consideration the feelings of others... Not having a single sensitive bone in his body.

To me, it seems that KangIn doesn't really know how to convey his affection towards his dongsaengs or sunbaes... So he jokes around, and the ones he picks on the most is the ones he cares about a lot. Twisted as it is, it makes sense.

But again, Cholette has a point. Joking around is fine and all, but if it reaches the point of really hurting someone, then that's just crossing the line. No wonder Cholette hates him with such passionate fury.

All in all, Cholette has really opened my eyes to Super Junior. Not only that, she has taught me to see more than just the good in others. To evenly see and accept the good and bad sides equally.

I've been viewing people through rose tinted glasses. I force myself to always see the good in them, because I'd rather be blissfully ignorant of their faults and continue to see only the good.

As hard it was for me to accept this about myself, I've finally come to terms with it. Thanks to Cholette, I can now really open my eyes and see everything that there is about a person. Nothing assumed, nothing biased. Thanks to a friend like Cholette, I can see someone for who they really are, the sides which are the beautiful and the ugly, the blessed and the damned.

I'm thankful to have Cholette, and many others like her. Friends are there to teach you, to help you grow. You do the same for them. I want to be like that for Cholette and all our friends.

Cholette, if you ever read this, thank you.

Cinderella Lessons

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:10:35 GMT

"...And they all lived happily ever after..."

From my childhood to this very day in my life, Cinderella has always been my favorite fairytale. There was something about tiny singing mice that made me fall in love with that movie. Of course, you must include the True Love factor. I remember watching the movie when I was younger. I remember the rush of emotions that went through me when Cinderella and Prince Charming first meet, as it was love at first sight. I remember the sigh of complete content that escaped me when they lived happily ever after. That was my favorite Disney moment. When the story ends, there will always be a happy ending.

There will always be that Prince Charming who searches for his true love, a single glass slipper as his only clue.

There will always be Aladdin with his magic carpet to whisk you away, to truly show you A Whole New World.

There will always be the Beast, cold and uncaring on the outside, but turns out he has the biggest heart of all.

There will always be Eric, despite having amnesia, he will always know that you are the One.

There will always be Prince Philip, willing to fight against a fire breathing dragon to give you true love's kiss.

During those Disney filled days, true love would reign, always and forever. There was no such thing as heartbreak in the Disney dictionary.

I grew up with my fantasies, hopes and dreams of meeting my own Prince Charming. To find the One who would sweep me off my feet, whom I would instantly know as my true love. I surrounded myself with that protective bubble, that bubble of dreams and wishes that I so wanted to be.

Sadly, reality broke through my perfect bubble. In real life, there are very rare happily ever afters. There are even rarer Prince Charmings.

There aren't any love at first sight moments that take your breath away.

There aren't any amazing acts of love that make you swoon.

There aren't any singing animals that tell you to Kiss the Girl.

There aren't any riding off into the sunsets.

They are all fake.

All a dream. A wishful fantasy that is just there for you to wish for. Nothing more. What I believe in now, is completely different from what I believed in before. Reality has taught me not to be so naive. Not to expect my happy ending, especially not to wait for my Prince Charming to come and get me. Reality has taught me to value my innocence while I still can, before the world comes barging in.

Now, I know. There aren't any real princes. There aren't any real true love at first sight moments. Love is something that I do not understand. My views on it are confused, twisted between the fabrication of the Happily Ever After and the harsh truth that true love may not actually exist.

Ask me, anyone about love and you will not get a clear answer. Love differs for everyone in this world, depending if you're still in your bubble, or if you've stared reality in it's scarred face. But there is one thing I'm sure of.

Love is a beautiful. Love is amazing. Love is tragic. Love is miserable. Love is painful.

Love is a feeling that you cannot describe.

I want to find love. Not true love, not happily ever after love, just love. That should be enough.

"...The End."

Stepping It Up

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:56:08 GMT

Officially, I am in love with dance movies.

You know what I'm talking about. Those great movies that have amazing soundtracks and unbelievable dance moves. I just recently bought a DVD of Step Up. And up till now, I am in total, complete, unimaginable awe.

I watched my first dance movie when I was younger, around the age of six or seven when I could fully comprehend what I was viewing. It was entitled Center Stage. It was a story that followed these young dancers who entered the American Ballet Company, in hopes of fulfilling their dreams, to be able to be accepted into that prestigious company.

Of course, it showed more than some beautiful dance routines. It had drama, love triangles, issues with eating disorders in order to attain that perfect body which being a prima-ballerina entails.

But still, the moment I watched that movie, I fell in love with it. So began my interest in dance movies.

Though my memories of my childhood have more holes that Swiss Cheese, I remember next watching You Got Served. That made me worship and appreciate street dancing, with break dancing, krumping, popping and locking, all that stuff. I fell for it, hard and fast.

Ever since then, I've been watching dance movies again and again. Old ones, new ones, whichever.

Honey, Stomp the Yard, Take the Lead, Stomp, Step Up...

Now, after watching Step Up, I'm dying to watch it's sequel, Step Up 2 The Streets.

The movies just came out last February 14th in the US and it's already been shown in Manila. I'm hoping that I can watch in the theaters soon. If not, there's always the option of waiting for the DVD to come out.

Or, simply buying a pirated copy which are coming out in stacks everywhere.

Although I might just do the latter, maybe I can wait for the former. If it means that I get the original DVD, with a guaranteed clear quality, then hey, it's worth every day.

So I end my post. If anyone's got any good dance movies worth watching, please share. I'd be happy to view. ;)

Her Steps

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:34:27 GMT

Head leaned back, you take another slow drag from the cigarette. It tastes like crap, but what the hell, you've already adopted nicotine as one of your vices, along with caffeine, so why should you stop now?

You lazily blow out the smoke, carcinogens invading your lungs. Another quick draw, a flick of the wrist and you're back to square one.

You signal the waiter. He comes over, happy smiles and all, a requirement for their job. You quickly order a refill of your coffee, French Roast blend 'cause you know it's going to be a long night and you need the strongest stuff you can tolerate.

He goes to the counter to yell out your order, his voice mixing with the other voices around you in the noisy cafè. What can you expect? It's Starbucks for crying out loud.

You put out the cigarette and resist the urge to pull out a new one. Instead, you pick up the book you abandoned a few minutes ago in lieu for a nicotine break. It's old, second-hand, and battered. Then again, all of your books are battered due to the fact that you drag 2 or 3 of them around in your over sized shoulder bag.

Opening to the page you last read, you replace the bookmark in it's usual position at the very last page of the book. As you begin to read, you don't notice that the door once again opens, and the person whom you've been waiting for steps in.

He's slightly damp from the rain and immediately shrugs off the wet jacket, at the same time, ruffling the drops of water out of his shaggy hair that rather reminded you of a dog's. Funny, you've always had a dislike for dogs. But now...

He goes up behind you, you don't notice since your too engrossed in your book, reading The Joy Luck Club, you actually like the book and Ms. Q is suddenly correct for once when she gives it for the book report. Suddenly the air around you feels warmer and you just know. You turn around and he swiftly captures your lips with his. Romantic yes, and it's enough to make you breathless.

You've missed him, although he looks like he hasn't changed all that much. His hair is lighter, skin tanner. Leaner but with muscles filling in at the right places. Hair is a bit longer, covering his eyes, lightly reaching the nape of his neck.

He sits across from you, tossing aside the old leather jacket that you love, it smells like him, spicy with the cologne you got him from Blue Soda. He orders what you've ordered, glancing at you with a smirk on his lips as he hears French Roast blend. You look away, putting away your book after securely replacing the bookmark.

Your hands feel numb, cold. You repeatedly close and open them, hoping to contract enough blood around for some heat. He notices and covers your hands with his own, warm and smooth. Yours are callused since you're too damn lazy to bother with lotion. This suddenly makes you feel insecure.

He notices you get uncomfortable, he's always been observant like that. When you begin to pull away, he tightens his grip, challenging you to try to pull away once more. You remain motionless, you stare into his eyes, looking for that sign that tells you that he is bored, that he's tired of you, that he isn't the one.

You sigh, with frustration or relief you don't know, because you don't find what you're looking for. He notices this too, but keeps quiet, and you just know he'll bring this up later. Your orders come together and you begin to ramble, talking about things purely meant for conversation to pass the time.

You sip your coffee after putting in 3 packs each of cream and brown sugar, despite the somewhat scalding temperature. You're addicted to coffee; you've gotten used to it. He listen to you while sipping his own coffee (no cream, no sugar; he likes it black and bitter while you like it light and sweet, completely opposite) and you notice he really listens, his eyes trained on yours, head titled in the way that you've always found so endearing.

Soon you're both done with your coffees. A comfortable silence settles over you two like a blanket. He calls for the bill and you reach for your wallet but he waves you off with a wink as he pays for you both. You blush furiously and protest, saying it's your turn, but he ignores you, save for another irritatingly cute wink.

He never lets you pay, despite your somewhat violent reactions and protests. That's just the type of guy he is, the type of guy he was raised to be. A perfect gentleman. Perfect.

You wonder if it's real.

You walk together around I.T. Park for a few minutes before you involuntarily shiver. He shrugs off the jacket and you're suddenly surrounded in the comfortable warmth that smells so like him. You stop walking, the area momentarily empty save for a few cars.

He takes your hands because he knows your cold and pulls you close, hands comfortably resting at the small of your back as the top of your head brushes against his chin. Moments, hours later, he tilts your chin up so that your eyes meet his. He kisses you softly, and they are so gently given that you want to cry. Hugs you tighter, before resuming the previous position. Arms around you, laced together at the base of your spine, your head brushing against his chin, and now, your arms around his neck.

He leans down and whispers so close to your ear that you can feel his breath, the occasional brush of his lips.

He tells you that 'we need to talk'.

You try to pull away but he holds on tighter. He tells you not to interrupt him; just listen. You nod and he resumes.

He tells you that you've been dating for a while now. 6 months and 3 weeks, you silently add.

He tells you that he really likes you and he's felt something for you. He's never felt this way with anyone else.

He tells you that he knows you're insecure about them, with all those rumors flying around from the libakeras and the libakeros. You stiffen at those words, he once again notices because he's so damn observant and begins to stroke your hair soothingly.

You try to tune him out, staring up at the glossy black sky with the billions of stars winking at you. You listen to the quiet chirps of the crickets, the blow of the wind. You breathe in the night air and you--

I want to be with you. I love you.

You freeze and he slowly pulls back. He's just asked you to be his girlfriend. Oh God.

Breathe, you command yourself. Moments pass before you can even look him in the eyes. You're crying. You tell him that he's right.

You are insecure of what people have been saying, you are scared.

Of getting hurt.

You shush him when he tries to cut in.

But you're willing to take a chance. To give your heart to him.

And that was more than a simple I love you, yes, I will be your girlfriend.

He hugs you, kisses the tears away. Suddenly, you know things will work out, things will be alright. There will still be those rumors, the doubters and there will still be your insecurities.

But for now, the future seems bright, and you could almost see him in it.

The Good Kind of Addiction

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:31:47 GMT

Recently, I've been hooked on the local idols, watching the different movies, tv shows/dramas from Asia, specifically from Japan, Korea and Taiwan. It has become my obsession, let's say that it has become my OCD.

It all started with my friend, Joanna [AKA Jina, se_jinblue] who got me interested in Akanishi Jin, which eventually got my curiosity in the band he's in, KAT-TUN, which lead on from there to other bands/units, until I got really obsessed with Johnny's Entertainment and basically everyone in it. Right now, I'm seriously favoring KAT-TUN and NEWS as my fave groups with Arashi coming close to second. This is just what I've heard, but it's a bit of a turn-off for me that Matsumoto Jun is "arrogant".

From then on, I wasn't SO obsessed with it, but I did just have a faint interest in it. Then, one day this summer, I was watching ABS-CBN, when the Taiwanese drama version of Hana Kimi caught my eye, so much that I watched the entire series, plus the Japanese version, in Crunchy Roll.

That got me so hooked again, like an addict. Seriously, when I was watching Hana Kimi Taiwan, it was all I did for about a week. The first thing I did when I woke up was to turn on the computer and the last thing I did before I slept was to turn it off. From there, I began to explore the different people who are so famous in places like Japan and Taiwan.

As I've said before, JE and mostly everyone in there has become my OCD, but Fahrenheit and SHE are my occasional addiction, especially Wu Chun and Ella Chen, the lead actor and actress from Hana Kimi since they both look so damn cute together!

Right now, I'm currently crushing on the members of KAT-TUN and NEWS. Seriously, those guys make my heart stop. This lead to my interest in Kame's drama, Sapuri, which I'm currently watching. Afterwards, I plan to watch Nobuta wo Produce which stars both Kame and YamaPi, and it includes the lead actress from the Japanese version of Hana Kimi, Maki Horikita.

Please, if anyone has any suggestions for dramas, movies, tv shows to watch, I'm completely open! ;)